The Cost of Obedience

As a follower of Christ, one of my main goals is to walk in obedience to God every day. The more I obey Him, the more I learn that obedience is costly. A few months ago, I went on a women’s retreat with my church. I shared a room with 3 of my friends, and I was so excited to spend time with them and watch God move at our retreat. The retreat was Friday evening through Sunday morning. I had a great time Friday and Saturday and watched the Lord do mighty things, and I was highly anticipating the rest of the weekend. The Lord had other plans. After Saturday’s evening session, we were supposed to have a costume party with snacks, games, and all kinds of fun stuff. In the past, it had always been the funniest part of the retreat, so I couldn’t wait. However, as I was heading back to my room to get ready for our party, I knew the Lord was urging me to pack up my things and drive an hour and a half back home. I couldn’t comprehend why He would want me to leave my Godly community to go home to my unbelieving family, but He commanded me, so I went. I told my friends, packed my things, and headed down the mountain in the dark to go home. As I drove back, I felt frustrated with the Lord. At this point, I had been praying for my family and their salvation for over four years with what seemed to me like little progress. I was mad that God would ask me to leave something I enjoyed just so I could make them happier. My expectations were low. I assumed God wanted me to bless them with my presence, because they miss me, but it didn’t seem fair that it was at the expense of something I was really excited to participate in. So, I wrestled with God the entire drive until I pulled into my driveway. 

As soon as I put the car in park, our garage door opened, and my dad basically came running out to see me. He was so surprised and excited. I went in to see my mom and she was thrilled, too. I assumed I was right. God wanted to bless them, and I just had to get over my frustrations. I had been home for less than 15 minutes when my dad started telling me about a video he saw about heaven and hell. After he explained this video to me, he said, “Jenna, I’ve really been working on my journey.” Immediately, my eyes got bigger, my ears opened wider, and my heart began to soften. The Spirit was waking me up to what was really going on. At that moment, I knew my dad was going to be saved. My dad went on to tell me about what he’d been reading in the bible and researching online. He told me he had started praying and that he had a desire to know God. He said he wanted to be in heaven with me one day. I almost couldn't believe it. My dad had been a self-proclaimed doubter of God for as long as I could remember. I often struggled to believe that he would ever accept Jesus. Yet, here he was telling me he wanted to know God personally. I explained to him that he needed to receive salvation and accept Jesus into his heart for that to happen. He said he wanted to, so right there in our living room, I prayed with him and he asked Jesus to come into his heart and save him. It was the craziest thing to me. My prayers had been answered, my dream had come true. My dad became a citizen of heaven. A son of the King. To think I grumbled so much about leaving the retreat. To think I was so mad that God would ask me to go home. How selfish of me. I’ve learned that God’s ways will always be higher than mine. Isaiah 55:8-9 says it best,

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Yes, obeying Him may cost me, but I am meant to count all my losses as gains in the kingdom of God. Even when it feels like I’m losing, I’m actually winning because the kingdom is growing. Paul once said, 

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him.” - Philippians 3:7-9

Obedience hurts because it forces our flesh to die, but the things that God can do with even our smallest acts of obedience are miraculous. In this instance, it cost me time with my community. In the past, obeying God has cost me friendships, money, jobs, my relationship, and the list could go on. However, I don’t find myself thinking about the losses. I find myself thinking of His goodness and His worthiness. Serving Jesus is supposed to be costly. What would it be worth if it wasn’t? He will always be worthy, no matter what it takes from us. I’m so glad I left our women’s retreat that weekend. Not because my dad wouldn’t have been saved if I hadn’t, because he would. God’s will is going to be done with or without my participation. I’m so glad I went home, though, because what God did changed my heart. It challenged my faith. It replaced doubt with belief. It allowed me to see Jesus’ character again. Jesus is the reward of our obedience, and what a wonderful prize He is. Obedience is always going to come at a price, but it will always be worth it because Jesus is a worthy King. So, just obey friends. Don’t question it. He knows best.