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True Identity

  • Jan 30, 2025
  • 6 min read

Updated: Jun 27, 2025

Last summer, some of my dad’s family came to visit us. I had only met them once before, and they brought my cousin’s boyfriend with them. We were all hanging out in my backyard at the pool, and my dad and the other guys went to the store and left him and I to watch the kids at the pool. We got to talking. He told me all about how my cousin is in college and he goes to visit her almost every weekend. He told me a lot of crazy stories about how they used to go to bars all the time, even when she was underaged. He said that she has multiple fake IDs and she got away with drinking every time she tried. 


I’ve never had a fake ID that I would use to underage drink and party, but I’ve definitely carried around a fake ID before. In 5th and 6th grade, I tried so hard to fit in with the girls at school, that I started cussing like them and listening to the rap music they did even though I didn’t understand a single word. I even tried to purposely do worse on my school assignments so that they wouldn’t hate me for thinking I was better than them. In 7th grade I switched schools. I had to make new friends, so I tried as hard as I could to fit in with them. I started wearing baggy t-shirts, and I even got my mom to take me makeup shopping. I had an issue with self harm, that only got worse when I made a friend who also struggled with it. We mirrored each other, and made the other even more unhealthy. At the end of my freshman year in high school, I started to wonder, “who am I?” I had been copying how all of my friends acted and looked for so long that I totally had an identity crisis at 14 years old. All of the “fake IDs” that I had collected over the years started to really take a toll on me. I had all of these different personalities, and no one, not even ME, knew which one was truly me. 


Have you ever noticed that friend groups all look the same. Especially in middle and high school, girls tend to mirror each other. They say the same things, wear the same things, do their hair the same way, etc. If one girl in the friend group buys a new top, they’ll all have that top within a couple weeks. And yet, Jesus calls us holy beings. 


1 Peter 1:15-16 says, “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; Be holy, because I am holy.”


The Hebrew word for “holy” literally means “separate” or “set apart.” If God’s word says that we, His people, are holy because He is holy, that means that we are called to be set apart. We are called to be different. So why do we have this intense desire to be the same as everyone else? As females, we have this drive to make people like us. We want to fit in so that everyone will accept us and favor us. 


You don’t need to be favored by people. You are already favored by the King of Kings, the Creator and Sustainer of the world. He created you. He knows you. And still, He loves you more than you could ever imagine. 


Psalm 139:13-15 says, 

“For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.”


You might be saying, “well yeah, I know that God created me and wants me to be different from other people or whatever, but what does that even mean?”


Matthew 22:37-40 gives us a good idea of what it looks like to walk out holiness in daily life. It says, “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


So, let’s break this down. 

Step 1) Love God

Step 2) Love people


Simple right? Wrong. 

Maybe you’re like me, and you thought “Well, I love God, and I love most people, but I don’t think it is even possible for me to love THAT person.” Here’s the thing about that though… Jesus has just told us what the greatest commandment is, then He goes on to tell us that the second is like it. Loving God and loving people have something in common. I think the common denominator is that when we love God, we will automatically have a greater love for His people, and when we love God’s people, we are exemplifying our love for Him. 


1 John 4:20 puts it like this, “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”


I think there is something really inspiring about this verse. God is invisible. We can experience God’s work, and we can come to know Him and experience His love for us, but we can’t see Him on this side of Heaven. But we do see His creation. We interact with other beings formed by God and equally loved by God every single day. How do we show God that we love Him? It’s simple, by loving His creation and caring for it. 


The cool thing about it is that you can do this task ANYWHERE. I think we get really caught up wondering, stressing about, and praying for God to tell us what our purpose is. But, there it is. He clearly told us our purpose. I think when we pray about our purpose, what we are really praying about is our career. I’ve got some good news for you: you can love God and love people in any career type. Whether you are a doctor, an engineer, a therapist, a veterinarian, a teacher, a stay at home mom, a student, a school counselor, a missionary overseas, a pastor, or a sunday school teacher, your mission and your purpose remains: Love God, Love His People.


How is this a holy task, you might ask? Well, love is very counter culture. Let me prove it to you. How do you define love? Google defines love this way: 1) an intense feeling of deep affection; 2) a great interest and pleasure in doing something; 3) to feel deep affection for (someone); 4) to like or enjoy very much.

This is how we use the word “love.” We tell our friends we “love” them, and then we talk crap about them behind their backs 10 minutes later. We “love” the meal we had last night. We “love” our siblings, and then we neglect them when they ask us to spend time with them. We “love” our parents, but the minute they give us an answer we don’t like, we are disrespectful and disobedient (I’m preaching this to myself, too).


The Bible describes love in a much different way. It’s not a moody word. It doesn’t change its mind. Love is an action.


1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


Bob Goff, a Christian author, says it best. “Love does.” 

This kind of love is counter culture. Our materialistic culture doesn’t know this kind of love. It is our assignment, as believers, to show this kind of love to the world. 


1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”


So, go. Take your true identity as a holy being, created and loved by God, and live differently. Leave all of the fake IDs you’ve collected behind. Live originally. Take every opportunity to show love to people that don’t know Him. This is good news! So go share it!!

 
 
 

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“We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭78‬:‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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